《乔治·卡林：人生因失而值》是一部由Rocco Urbisci执导。George Carlin主演的一部喜剧 / 舞台艺术类型的电影。特精心从网络上整理的一些观众的影评。希望对大家能有帮助。
●Carlin说。今天的美国就是一个big fucking shopping mall
●老爷子不穿底裤到处呲尿。还把资本主义美国吊起来凌辱。简直硬核rapper。george carlin, the murderer of modern america.
●Crazy old dude..
字幕组出品 乔治卡林喜剧脱口秀中文全集 http://tieba.baidu.com/p/2075745181
第一次在豆瓣加入新的电影。很有成就感。哈哈。其实也不算电影。是个STAND-UP COMEDY SHOW。啥是STAND-UP呢？我习惯于解释为单口相声。
据说CALIN是想做一个叫I KINDA LIKE IT WHEN A LOT OF PEOPLE DIE的SHOW。结果第一次想用这个名字的时候发生了911事件。名字只好改成了COMPLAINTS AND GRIEVANCES。这一次又想用。结果又发生了KATRINA。结果又没用成那个名字。改成了现在的LIFE IS WORTH LOSING。这个名字是篡改了LIFE IS WORTH LIVING得来的。
Do you realise, that right this second, right now somewhere around the world some guy is getting ready to kill himself. Isn't that great？ Statistics show that every year a million people commit suicide. Thats 2800 a day. That's one every thirty seconds.
好笑吗？但CALIN说出来就让人想笑。据说一个COMEDIAN和COMIC的区别就是A COMIC SAYS FUNNY THINGS, A COMEDIAN SAYS THINGS FUNNY。如果按照这个定义的话。CALIN是个不责不扣的COMEDIAN。
Well, I think it is certainly apparent by now that one of the things I enjoy in life is excess.
I like things that are excessive. I like excessive behavior, excessive language, excessive violence.
It's fun. It's interesting. It's exciting.
I like it when nature is excessive. That's why I like natural disasters.
All these natural disasters that have been going on, I fucking love them. I can't get enough of them.
I have absolutely no sympathy for human beings whatsoever. None.
And no matter what kind of problem humans are facing, whether it's natural or man made. I always hope it gets worse.
Don't you have a part of you that secretly hopes everything gets worse？
When you see a big fire on TV, don't you hope it spreads？
Don't you hope it gets completely out of control and burns down six counties？
You don't root for a fireman, do you？
I mean I don't want him to get hurt or nothin' but I don't want him putting out my fire.
That's my fire.
That's nature showing off and having fun.
(then George Carlin gave a vivid example .)
George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing (2005)
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you very much.
I'm a modern man.
A man for the millennium.
Digital and smoke free.
A diversified, multi-cultural,
olitically, anatomically and ecologically incorrect.
I've been up-linked and downloaded.
I've been inputted and outsourced.
I know the upside of downsizing.
I know the downside of upgrading.
I'm a high-tech low life.
A cutting edge, state of the art,
and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond.
I'm new wave,
ut I'm old school.
And my inner child is outward bound.
I'm a hot-wired, heat seeking,
warm-hearted cool customer.
Voice-activated and biodegradable.
I interface from a database,
my database is in cyberspace.
o I'm interactive,
I'm hyperactive and from time to time,
ehind the eight ball,
ahead of the curve,
riding the wave, dodging the bullet,
ushing the envelope.
I'm on point, on task,
on message and off drugs.
I got no need for coke and speed.
I got no urge to binge and purge.
I'm in the moment, on the edge,
over the top but under the radar.
A high concept, low profile,
medium range ballistic missionary.
A streetwise smart bomb.
A top gun bottom feeder.
I wear power ties.
I tell power lies.
I take power naps.
I run victory laps.
I'm a totally ongoing big foot,
lam-dunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach.
A raging workaholic.
A working rageaholic.
Out of rehab and in denial.
I got a personal trainer,
a personal shopper,
a personal assistant
and a personal agenda.
You can't shut me up.
You can't dumb me down.
ecause I'm tireless and I'm wireless.
I'm a alpha male on beta blockers.
I'm a non-believer and an overachiever.
Laid back but fashion forward.
Up front, down home,
low rent, high maintenance.
uper size, long lasting,
high definition, fast-acting,
oven-ready and built to last.
I'm a hands-on, footloose,
knee jerk head case.
and I have a love child who sends me hate mail.
ut I'm feeling.
A supportive, bonding, nurturing primary caregiver.
My output is down, but my income is up.
I take a short position on the long bond.
And my revenue stream has its own cash flow.
I read junk mail.
I eat junk food.
I buy junk bonds.
I watch trash sports.
I'm gender specific, capital intensive,
user friendly and lactose intolerant.
I like rough sex.
I like rough sex.
I like tough love.
I use the F word in my email.
And the software in my hard drive
is hardcore, no soft porn.
I bought a microwave at a mini mall.
I bought a minivan at a megastore.
I eat fast food in the slow lane.
I'm toll free, bite size,
ready to wear and I come in all sizes.
A fully equipped, factory authorized,
hospital tested, clinically proven,
I've been prewashed, precooked, preheated,
freeze dried, double wrapped, vacuum packed
and I have an unlimited broadband capacity.
I'm a rude dude, but I'm the real deal.
Lean and mean.
Cocked, locked and ready to rock.
Rough, tough and hard to bluff.
I take it slow.
I go with the flow.
I ride with the tide.
I got glide in my stride.
Driving and moving.
ailing and spinning.
Jiving and grooving.
Wailing and winning.
I don't snooze, so I don't lose.
I keep the pedal to the metal
and the rubber on the road.
I party hearty.
And lunch time is crunch time.
I'm hanging in.
There ain't no doubt.
And I'm hanging tough.
Over and out.
Thank you very much.
Hey, I got 341 days sober
and next year's my 50th anniversary in show business.
Let's do a fucking show, huh？
You know something
eople don't talk about in public anymore？
ow I said that on my last HBO show
and apparently some people
don't know what a pussy fart is,
ecause I got some inquiries.
Here's the deal.
A pussy fart is like when you're making love to a woman
who's got a little extra air in her vagina
and every time you thrust forward,
it's kind of a...
And the two of you are just lying there.
Each of you is just wondering if the other one farted.
And the man is usually thinking,
quot;Maybe she farts when she comes.
Maybe she took a shit.
Man, I gotta stay out of that fucking bar".
Another word you don't hear too often is dingleberries.
You know you never hear it on "Meet The Press".
The dingleberry solution, dingleberry gate.
I think it's because dingleberries
is one of them words
you don't say too much
ast your 10th birthday.
It's not a grownup's word.
It's a kid's word.
It always sounded kind of Christmasy to me.
Don't you think it has a holiday ring to it？
quot;John, you might want to hang some dingleberries
over the front door.
Then when Maryann comes over,
he can kiss you under the dingleberries."
quot;It is to be devoutly wished
that she would kiss me
under the dingleberries."
Cornhole is another word you don't hear enough.
You don't hear that nearly enough, you know？
It's a good word.
It's a solid word.
It's a tough word.
It's a man's kind of word.
It's got a masculine sound.
It's like shotgun
and ash can and tow truck.
Everything's been sanitized now and cleaned up.
First with these fucking Christians.
You just start with them.
I'm so, you know.
That's just one, wait a minute now.
Yeah, you know.
Let's not leave out these
C campus liberal assholes.
I mean they're just as fucking bad
from a different direction.
ut everything's different.
Everything's been polished up now.
It's anal intercourse.
ow I'm a big fan
of the prime time crime shows.
I like all of them pretty much.
You know, I like "Law & Order"
and all the spin-offs of that.
I like "CSl"
and all of those spin-offs.
Yeah, because they're forensic shows.
And I'm just waiting for one night to be sitting there
watching one of them shows
and then the chief medical examiner
turns to the lead detective and says,
quot;Steve, looks to me like after they killed this guy,
the perpetrators rolled him over
and cornholed him about 30 or 40 fucking times.
Look at that.
That there is a posthumous,
multiple cornhole entry wound".
In prison it's a social activity.
Yeah, it's right up there on the bulletin board.
Checkers, handball, cornholing.
ow, just to change the subject a little bit,
do you realize,
do you realize
that right this second,
omewhere around the world
ome guy is getting ready to kill himself.
Isn't that great？
Isn't that great？
Did you ever stop and think about that kind of shit？
and it's interesting and it's true.
Right this second
ome guy is getting ready
to bite the big bazooka.
ecause statistics show that every year
a million people commit suicide.
That's 2800 a day.
That's one every 30 seconds.
There goes another guy.
And I say guy,
I say guy
ecause men are four times more likely
than women to commit suicide.
Even though women attempt it more.
o men are better at it.
That's something else you gals
will want to be working on.
Well, if you want to be truly equal,
you're going to have to start
taking your own lives in greater numbers.
ut I just think it's interesting to know.
Interesting, that's a big word in this show for me.
Interesting to know that at any moment
the odds are good
that some guy
is dragging a chair
across the garage floor,
trying to get it right underneath that ceiling beam,
wouldn't want to be too far off center.
If it's worth doing,
it's worth doing right.
omewhere else another guy's going over
and getting a gun out of a dresser drawer.
omebody else is opening up
a brand-new package of razor blades.
Maybe struggling with the cellophane a little bit,
It's always something.
Goddamn it, fuckin shit."
I just think that's an interesting as hell.
That's probably the most interesting thing
you can do with your life,
I don't think I could do that, though.
I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it.
ut I understand it, you know.
I think I do.
I don't wonder about it.
I don't wonder, Well, why did he do that
and, What was going through his mind.
You know what I wonder,
Where did he find the fucking time？
Who's got time to be committing suicide？
Aren't you busy？
I got shit to do.
uicide would be way down on my list.
robably down past lighting my own house on fire.
I might want to try a little self-mutilation first.
You know, take a couple of hunks out of my arm.
ee if I like the general idea.
ecause you've got to have priorities, man.
And you've got to have a plan, too,
for something like that.
You've got to plan that shit.
eople just don't run out the house
and jump off a bridge.
There are things you have to decide.
Timing is important.
When you're going to do it.
quot;Well, let me see now.
Got to take Timmy to the circus.
quot;Survivor" is on, on Thursday.
Friday I got my colon cleansing.
The folks are coming over on Sunday.
y God, that'd be just the thing.
Maybe mom will find my body.
erve her right for fucking me up the way she did."
Then you have to pick a method.
How you're going to do it.
quot;Well, let me see now.
Afraid of heights, that's no good.
Can't swallow pills.
Don't like the sight of blood.
Fucking oven's electric.
I'd lie down in front of a train,
except the Amtrak ain't coming through here
in 30 goddamn years.
Maybe I'll just take a gun
and shoot myself in the mouth.
uppose I miss？
eople will be laughing at me.
uppose I live？
I'll have a big fucking hole in my head.
I'll have to wear some kind of dumb-ass hat.
Well, I guess I'll just hang myself.
That'd be good.
Gotta get a rope.
Oh, shit, it's always something.
I got a rope in the garage.
It's got a lot of grease and paint on it.
Don't want to get that stuff on my neck.
Wal-Mart's having a special on rope this weekend.
o sense spending a lot of money to kill myself.
Then again, I can always put it on my credit card
I'll never have to pay the fucking thing.
That's it then.
I'm hanging myself
and Wal-Mart's paying for it.
I got to express myself.
Hell, if I could express myself,
I wouldn't be thinking of doing something like this.
Where's a pen？
I can never find a pen.
Told the kids not to move the pen away from that telephone.
I ought to just kill them, too.
Make it one of them family package deals.
Here's a pen.
I'll just jam it into my fucking neck
and get it over with.
Let's see now.
Where do you put the date？
I can never remember that.
To whom it may concern.
ounds kind of impersonal.
Leaves out the kids.
Keep on reading.
How are you？
I hope you are fine.
I am not fine.
As you can no doubt tell
from me hanging here from this ceiling fixture.
You are the ones who drove me to this.
I was doing just fine
until you fuckers came along.
I hope you're happy now that I'm goddamn dead.
igned, the corpse in this room.
.S., fuck you people."
Yeah, good enough.
That would be a good note.
I don't think a writer could ever commit suicide.
A writer would be too busy
working on the note all goddamn year.
Trying to get it just right.
First draft, second draft, third revision,
whole new ending.
Finally, he'd turn it into a book proposal
and have a reason to live.
That wouldn't work.
I think about stuff like that.
It's interesting to me.
Like I said, certain things are interesting.
Life is filled with interesting things.
That's why I could never commit suicide.
I'm having too much fun
keeping an eye on you folks.
Watching what you do.
That's what I like.
Humans do some really interesting things.
Like besides killing ourselves,
we also kill each other.
And we're the only ones who do that, by the way.
We're the only species on earth
that deliberately kills members of our own species
for personal gain
or pleasure, sometimes it's just fun.
We're also the only species
that deliberately kills members of another species
for personal gain or pleasure.
That's what hunters do.
They kill for pleasure.
Here's an interesting form of murder we've come up with.
You know what's interesting about assassination？
Well, not only does it change those popularity polls
in a big fucking hurry
ut it is also interesting to notice
who it is we assassinate.
Did you ever notice who it is？
top to think who it is we kill？
It's always people who've told us
to live together in harmony
and try to love one another.
Lincoln, John Kennedy,
obby Kennedy, Martin Luther King,
Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, John Lennon.
They all said, try to live together peacefully.
Right in the fucking head.
Apparently, we're not ready for that.
Yeah, that's difficult behavior for us.
We're too busy sitting around
trying to think up ways to kill each other.
Here's one we came up with,
it's efficient, too.
You know, killing large numbers of people
imply because they don't look like you,
they don't talk like you
and they don't have the same kind of hats you do.
You ever notice that at any time you see two groups of people
who really hate each other,
chances are good
they're wearing different kind of hats.
Keep an eye on that.
It might be important.
ut any time there's genocide,
there are always mass graves.
Every time we kill some dictator
and go marching through his country,
we always find mass graves.
Thousands and thousands of dead bodies
of people the dictator killed.
And everybody over here gets horrified.
quot;Oh, mass graves, mass graves oh."
Well shit, what's the guy suppose to do
with a couple thousand people he just killed？
Dig separate holes？
Fuck that shit.
It's labor intensive.
The whole idea of killing a large number of people
at one time and one place is convenience.
Thrown 'em in the fucking hole.
Look at it this way,
at least the dictator had the decency
to throw a little dirt on them.
Give the guy some credit.
The dictator's a busy man.
He's got a lot on his mind.
Like trying to figure out who's planning to kill him.
o he can pick them up,
ut them in prison and torture them.
There's another one of our interesting,
heart-warming behaviors we come up with
omewhere along the way.
Torturing each other.
You want to hear a really cool torture
that the Romans invented？
They also used it as a form of capital punishment.
It's really creative.
They would take the guy in question,
tuff him in a burlap sack,
eal the sack up real tight
and throw it in the river.
ut, and here's the creative part,
inside the sack with the guy,
they would put a dog, a monkey and a snake.
A dog, a monkey and a snake.
That's fucking creative.
Imagine being inside a burlap sack
under water, in the dark,
itting next to a drowning monkey.
Think he'd be moving around a little bit？
The dog would be going ape shit.
We know that.
And the snake？
Well, he'd probably be getting curious
about what all the activity was inside the sack.
He might do anything.
Whatever he did,
it would probably involve venom and his teeth.
You know what you'd be doing？
You'd be praying to God
that the snake bit the monkey
and the dog ate the snake.
Then it would be just you and the dog,
man and his best friend
Maybe before you die,
you can teach him a few tricks.
Roll over and play dead
wouldn't be too difficult, would it？
Just a thought,
just a playful thought.
y the way, I assume you're noticing
that all these activities I'm mentioning,
murder, torture, genocide,
these are all things human beings do.
those creatures we feel superior to.
This is us.
Here's another one of our
iritually uplifting activities.
We don't do this one much anymore,
ut it use to be really big.
I miss that.
The Aztecs loved human sacrifice
and they were good at it.
Well, they got a lot of practice.
For instance, right around the year 1500,
the Aztecs sacrificed 80,000 people
in one ceremony.
80,000 people in one ceremony.
You know what the occasion was？
They were opening a new temple.
othing like religion
for a little entertainment, huh？
Especially that old time religion.
You know how the Aztecs went about their sacrificing？
Here's how they did it.
They would do it right out in public.
Right in front of everybody.
eautiful city square.
20, 30,000 people looking on.
They would take the guy,
lay him on an alter,
cut his chest open,
ull his heart out,
hold it up in the air while it was still beating.
Cut his chest open,
ull his heart out and hold it up in the air
while it was still beating.
You know what you call that？
That is fucking theater.
And although the procedure
may have been a little too crude
to be considered the first bypass surgery,
it could easily be seen as
an early form of organ donor program.
The Aztecs, human beings just like us.
ot too long ago, 500 years.
Columbus had already landed.
This is just south of here.
And by the way,
those hearts didn't go to waste.
Did not go to waste.
ecause right after the ceremonies,
the royal family, naturally,
would enjoy another one of our amusing activities,
Chowing down on another human being.
You got to be all out of beef jerky, man.
You got to be really fucking hungry.
ut it happens, doesn't it？
It still happens to this day.
A bunch of people stranded in the wilderness,
run out of Pop-Tarts,
you got to eat something.
Might as well be Steve.
And how do you decide who to eat first？
How do you decide who's first on the barbecue rack？
Do you pick on the little guy
ecause he's skinny and he can't fight back？
Or do you all gang up on the body builder
ecause he's got a lot of steaks and chops on him？
These are things human beings have to consider.
One more of these charming diversions of ours,
ow there's a hobby for you.
Fucking a corpse.
It takes a special kind of guy.
Don't you think？
ut it happens, it happens.
More than you might think.
It happens among humans.
Animals don't do that.
Animals don't fuck their dead.
A rat will do a lot of gross things,
ut he will not fuck a dead rat.
It wouldn't even occur to him.
Only a human being would think
to fuck someone who just died.
We got to be the most interesting critters
on the planet.
And then we wonder why a UFO
doesn't just land and say, hello.
You know the best thing about necrophilia？
You don't have to bring flowers.
Yeah, usually they're already there.
Isn't that nice？
Human beings will do anything.
I am convinced.
That's why when all those beheadings started in Iraq,
it didn't bother me.
I took it right in stride.
A lot of people here were horrified.
quot;Oh, beheadings, beheadings."
What are you fucking surprised？
It's just one more form of extreme human behavior.
esides, who cares about some
mercenary civilian contractor from Oklahoma
who gets his head cut off？
Hey, Jack, you don't want to get your head cut off？
tay the fuck in Oklahoma.
tay the fuck in Oklahoma.
They ain't cutting off heads in Oklahoma.
As far as I know.
ut I do know this,
you strap on a gun
and go strutting around some other man's country,
you better be ready for some action, Jack.
You better be ready for some action.
eople are touchy about that sort of thing.
And let me ask you this
while I have you good, clean Americans here.
This is a moral question, not rhetorical.
I'm looking for the answer.
What is the moral difference
etween cutting off one guy's head
or two or three or five or ten
and dropping a big bomb on a hospital
and killing a whole bunch of sick kids？
Has anybody in authority
given you an explanation of the difference？
I have not gotten an email on this.
o one will talk to me.
I haven't gotten a postcard,
ot a fucking instant message, nothin'.
ow, in case you're wondering
why I have a certain interest and fascination,
let's call it,
with torture and beheadings
and all of these things I've mentioned
is because each of these items
reminds me in life,
every time one of them occurs,
it reminds me over and over again
what beasts we human beings really are, you know？
When you get right down to it,
when you get right down to it,
human beings are nothing more
than ordinary jungle beasts.
o different from the Cro-Magnon people
who lived 25,000 years ago
in the Plasticine Forest
eating grubs off of rotten logs.
Our DNA hasn't changed substantially
in 100,000 years.
We're still operating out of the lower brain.
The reptilian brain.
Fight or flight.
Kill or be killed.
ow, we like to think we've evolved and advanced
ecause we can build a computer,
fly an airplane,
We can write a sonnet,
aint a painting,
compose an opera.
ut you know something？
We're barely out of the jungle on this planet.
arely out of the fucking jungle.
What we are is semi-civilized beasts
with baseball caps and automatic weapons.
And this civilization of ours
that we're so proud of,
this civilization with its so-called civilized behavior,
you ever stop and realize
how fragile all this is？
How fragile the whole structure,
how easily it can all just break right down,
just break right down.
It wouldn't take much.
It'll probably happen in less than two years.
It wouldn't take much
to throw us right back into barbaric times.
All you'd have to do
would be eliminate electricity.
o, no electricity, no lights.
You're back to candles and lanterns.
Campfires and bonfires.
atteries couldn't be recharged.
Generators couldn't be refueled
ecause fuel is pumped electrically.
o is water, by the way.
o no lights, no fuel, no water, no computers.
And computers run everything.
And among the many things computers run
that operate on electricity
are all of the security systems
in all of our jails
and prisons and nut houses.
o suddenly without electricity,
all across America
the gates and cell doors
and mental institutions
would fly open
and out would come all of our old friends.
The ones who've been away,
exual predators, pimps,
eed freaks, crack heads, sick junkies.
All the ethnic street gangs.
lacks, Spanish and Asian gangs,
icilian hit man,
Jamaican and Colombian drug gangs.
And those are just the ones we caught.
Lets not forget their counter-parts
till on the outside right now
waiting to hook up with their prison buddies
o they can start a new organization,
The American Federation of Sociopaths.
Just what the country needs.
Another special interest group.
Eight to ten million of them there would be.
Counting all the parolees
and all the probationers
and the ones who've never been caught.
Eight to ten million
itter, angry, violent,
exually hyperactive alpha males
with nothing to do.
Just a bunch of bad guys
looking for a good time.
Maybe dropping by your house.
Hope we're not intruding.
Got any beer？
Well, I got about 1400 really thirsty guys here.
How about women？
Got any women？
Oh, just your wife, huh？
Well, I think we can make that work.
ow boys, there's a lady here.
o I want you to mind your manners
and wait your turn."
olice wouldn't help you.
They'd be gone at the first sign of trouble.
They'd be home protecting their own families.
o would the Army and the National Guard.
You'd be alone.
You'd be on your own.
You'd be S.O.L. And J.W.F.
hit out of luck and jolly well fucked.
hit out of luck and jolly well fucked.
After a couple of years of living like that,
eheadings would be the least of your problems.
eople would be lining up to be beheaded.
o let's get back to suicide,
which now seems like a reasonable alternative.
uicide is an interesting topic to me
ecause it is an inherently interesting decision.
To decide voluntarily not to exist anymore.
You know what it is？
It's the ultimate makeover.
That's why I think it belongs on television.
In this depraved culture we live in,
with all of these reality shows.
uicide and television will be a natural.
I'll bet you I can have
an All-Suicide Channel on cable TV.
I'll bet you.
hit, they got all golf.
What the fuck, huh？
You ever watch golf？
You ever watch golf？
It's like watching flies fuck.
If you'd get a bunch of brainless assholes
insisting on waste a Sunday afternoon
on that kind of shit,
you know you can get some people to watch some suicides.
All day long,
24 hours a day
othing but suicides.
Must die TV.
You'd get a lot of people watching that shit.
You'd get a lot of people
volunteering to be on there, too.
Just so their friends can see them on TV.
eople are fucking goofy.
You'd get a lot of volunteers.
You'd get all them leftover assholes
from "Let's Make a Deal".
They'd be lined up around the block
ushing each other out of the way,
utting on funny capes and caps and hats
and makeup and calling themselves Captain Suicide.
Guys would be competing for most unusual method.
eople would be jumping off of silos,
lighting themselves on fire,
utting rat poison on a taco,
drinking Mop & Glo,
ticking moth balls up their ass.
You'd probably have some weird fuck show up
who'd figured out how to kill himself
with dental floss and a stinger missile.
eople are fucking goofy.
I'd bet you could find you a married couple,
in this country, shit.
I'll bet you,
you could find a married couple
in one of them trailer parks or something
who'd be perfectly willing
to sit in a loveseat
and blow each other's heads off with shotguns
while a love song is playing.
eople are fucking nuts.
This country is full of nitwits and assholes.
Do you ever notice that？
Oh, my goodness, yes.
Oh, my goodness.
fuck ups, scumbags,
jerk offs and dipshits.
And they all vote.
They all vote, yeah.
In fact, sometimes you get the impression
They're the only ones who vote.
You can usually tell who's been doing the voting
y looking at the fucking election returns.
Man, it sure ain't me out there
wasting my time
with a meaningless activity like that.
You know those people on the "Jerry Springer Show",
those are the average Americans.
Oh, yeah, believe me.
elow average can't get on the show.
Can't get on.
elow average is sitting home
watching that shit on TV,
getting ready to out and vote,
filling out their sample ballot.
eople are fucking dumb.
You can say what you want about this country,
and I love this place.
I love the freedoms we used to have.
I love it.
I love that.
I love it when it didn't take a fucking catastrophe
to get us to care for one another.
I love the fact
that we're on camera all the time
from all angles.
ut, you know, you can say what you want about America.
And I say I love this place.
I wouldn't have it any other way,
wouldn't live in any other time in history
in any other place.
ut say what you want about America.
Land of the free, home of the brave.
We've got some dumb-ass motherfuckers
floating around this country.
Dumb-ass motherfuckers, you know.
ow, obviously that doesn't include this audience.
I understand that.
You seem intelligent and perceptive
ut the rest of them,
holy jumping fucking shit balls.
Dumber than a second coat of paint.
ow, this ain't just ranting and raving.
This ain't just blowing off steam.
I got a little evidence to support my claim.
It just seems to me
eems to me,
that only a really low IQ population
could have taken this beautiful continent,
this magnificent American landscape
that we inherited...
Well, actually, we stole it
from the Mexicans and the Indi.